One Step Beyond..........

"Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night."

.......Auguries of Innocence, William Blake.

It's been a while.

Frankly, I've been too busy with wedding stuff to actually get enough time to post, and I'm fairly sure no one reads this stuff anyway. Probably a good thing.

Let me think what's been happening.................arhhhh Venues, Bucks, Hens, Table Cloths, Invitations, Table Pieces, Suit Tailoring, Shoes, Budgets, Cake, Site Visits, Lights and lots and lots of spending money.

I'll start with the Invitations..


Tan the Man

Beck & I have the most generous friends, some of which could be termed slack-asses, but all will almost always rise to the occasion when called upon. One of those who has gone far above-and-beyond is our lovely friend, Ms Tania Nelly.  Tan runs her own little production studio and design house called The White Studio out of a little office in the front of her apartment in North Fitzroy. When she heard Beck & I  got engaged, she instantly offered her services to help with the wedding. 

We sent Tan a photograph that we had taken on one of our trips in New Zealand, of the grasses on Pencarrow Head. We wanted to use the photo as a base for the design of the invitations and the cake etc.

 Pencarrow Head, NZ

Tan went through a full consultation process including showing us different images to get the 'feel' and 'look' exactly how we wanted.  She also came out to the house where we are to be married to take photos and such.  In the end, the invites that were produced were amazing!  Tan has created such a fantastic feeling of depth and movement with the wheat grass design through layering, and finished off with printing the stonework from the Boyd-Baker house on the back. To say we were impressed with them would be an understatement.

Not content with the awesome job Tan had performed already, she advised us that she would like to make ceramic lamps for the table, that when lit candles were placed inside, would illuminate the wheat grass design etched into the side of it...........

Beck & I had our first look at them last week and they are simply stunning.  Tan, you are amazing!


The Venue

Beck & I searched for so so so long trying to find a suitable venue. One that wasn't a "insert Bride & Groom here" type place, and one that would enable us to have as many friends and family stay with us over the weekend as possible.  After much searching we came across an art and music space near Daylesford that we thought might fit the bill...........well at least right up until the hippie/blues loving owner told us we'd have to shut the music off at 9pm.....

To say the response to that statement by Beck was a tad tactless would be untrue. It was AWESOME

"Really? 9 O'clock?....fuck that, let's go babe....."

 Hippies.....No one likes them

So, frustrated and lying in bed, I was doing my usual troll through the internet and entering different combination's of search words and image searches, when I cam across a photo shoot done for GQ magazine. It linked to a property in Long Forest Victoria call the Boyd-Baker House.

The minute Beck saw it, the deal was done. This was THE place.  I could describe the place here with a plethora of adjectives, or, I could just let you look for yourself.

The Boyd-Baker House

 
 There are a few other topics I'll post about in the next few days as I catch up with all that has been going on.  In the meantime...........

All Quiet On The Wedding Front?........Hardly.

It's been two and a half months since my last blog update, but to say not much has been happening wouldn't be true, there has been, and shite loads of it. So much so I literally go into a catatonic state whenever there are decisions to be made.

"Do you think we should have black tablecloths or white?........................ erm.....Babe, did you hear what I asked about the tablecloths?"

Silence will ensue for the next 5 minutes as my brain goes completely blank........... it's nothing I can control, it seems to be an instinctual reflex much akin to that of the cleavage peek. Not. My. Fault.

Anyway, I'll start with what was my biggest problem. The Suit...or lack thereof.

After months of searching stores and calling tailors and constantly being told what I wanted wasn't currently in fashion, I was about ready to give up.  Every time I went into a store and outlined exactly what I wanted, I would be told , no, that's not what I want and I would have to get it made. It was frustrating to say the least.

"Why are you looking now?" and "You don't want a 3 button suit, 2 button suits are SO now" seemed to be the standard response.  Seems some people have forgotten the art of customer service and at the very least, how to sell a suit. Many a store clerk, in response to their statements, were subjected to my particularly hilarious brand of Saturday morning hungover quips, much to Becks displeasure...."Baby, you really shouldn't tell people they are wankers, it's not going to help".................. Beck is so wise.

For some reason they always resemble that snooty  Maitre D from Ferris Beuller's Day Off.

That was until I went to visit a knowledgeable Russian guy in Collins St (why are they always Russian?) who told me I would find exactly what I was looking for at a hire place in Brunswick called After Six who do their own suits. 

It's an odd place with odd clients and odd apparel, but really nice staff.  She may look a little weird, but the balding, middle aged, wise-cracking clerk working there, was as helpful as you could get.........  She would even have a joke about your Man Camel-Toe in any trousers that were too tight.  Hilarious.

So all three of us boys have now got what we are wearing which is great, and I also managed to find some shoes pretty easily too.

The other thing that's been happening is talk of the "Bucks". It's in the more than capable hands of Ash & Pete, but somehow I can't help but be a little worried it's going to end up like a weird fusion of Porky's and a Weekend at Bernies............
 
Please God, no 40+ aged topless barmaids with their boob's in my drinks!

 This I can handle..........

This I can not.

Whatever it is, hopefully it's going to be low-key, involve some beers, good food and just general hanging out.

I'm pretty sure there is other stuff that has been going on, and as soon as I remember I will post it up. (The Invites will get their own dedicated blog.) .

The good news is that it's all coming together nicely, and as Beck keeps telling me, only 16 weeks away....

Here's a Poem;

A spark, a leap, a sigh,

That moment warm lips meet,

It's true, I have heard it said,

Nothing tastes as sweet,

NOTHING, tastes as sweet.

Picking Your Ring?

It's done.  The wedding rings have been selected.................after 3 hours of haggling, a few choice puns about tight rings, and a serious amount of playing hardball with the price, that is!

Are we happy?

Definitely!

Beck and I decided to devote all of Tuesday to trying to get some wedding stuff locked in, and were successful with the rings and our celebrant (to be discussed in a later blog), no so much on the suits (still a pain in my ring.......come on!).

We wandered into ADC in Bourke Street to go over the style of rings we wanted, knowing full well when you go in there you have to prepare to be dragged around the showroom and then sit through a few hours of sizing and haggling to get what you really are after.

I'm happy to say that it was a fairly easy process.

We've been giving serious thought to the wedding rings, after all, your going to be wearing them for a long time right? When we were living in NZ we started looking at jewelers who could make what it was that I wanted, and it quickly came down to two styles that couldn't have been more far apart.....in more ways than one it turned out!

I really wanted a white gold inner band with a black enamel insert all the way round, with the white gold only appearing on the edges and cutting through the band to provide edges for either black diamonds (across the ring) or black Spinel (it's way more durable and less likely to fracture).  The Jeweler could only find one person in either NZ or Australia who could do something like that and the quote came in at a whopping 5 grand!!  I like a good ring as much as the next person, but 5 grand is crazy............

The other option was a thick white gold band with black or white diamonds across it......little bit of bling never hurt!

The main thing with the design was that it had to be something that wouldn't date, and that we wouldn't hate in 5 to 10 years.  I went trolling the interweb for designs, most of which were pretty corny or just plain ugly, but I found this design by Meister which really inspired me.

I really like the simplicity of it, and the black diamonds are a bit more me.  Unfortunately they are too brittle for everyday wear so I've gone for white ones instead (Spinel has proven difficult to source), and they extend all the way across the band.  We also worked out that the brushed look doesn't suit me so it's going to be 8mm thick rhodium plated 9ct white gold ring with a row of 6 0.1crt white diamonds across.

Simple, stylish and hopefully long-lasting.

I won't tell you what Beck has selected, but needless to say it goes very well with her existing bit of a small country................

For those that haven't seen her engagement ring, here it is (her's is actually a little different as we added some claws on the edges to hold in those brilliants). This is what happens when you let your future bride loose in a Jewelers!

One thing I was super happy about was my ring size.  Some people wouldn't understand my excitement, but to me it was just killer!  I have hands like giant clubs, and whilst they are great for opening jam jars or shaping stone when working on building pyramids in Egypt, they're not so great for wearing rings.

I was measured up as a whopping Z+1......... I like a loose ring!

My excitement is more for my love of motorcycles than anything else.  One of my favourite bikes ever is the Kawasaki Z1 and I think I was happier about having a Z1 ring size than the actual ring itself!

So now I am able to have my love of motorcycles included in the wedding, even if it is only as my ring size!  Though, if all goes well I am hoping to have a Triumph Bonneville present as well...........

Now that the rings have been locked in, that's one less thing we have to organise...............  I'm still working on the suit.

The Dudes, The Photos and The Ugly.

Firstly, here's something different, if not a little tacky for a wedding..........

So.................... the more I look into this wedding stuff, the more confused I am about just exactly what it is I'm responsible for, other than the obvious role of turning up to get married.........that bit seems to be easy.

What else I am supposed to organise or be doing over the next 7 months?  

Throughout my 30+ years of breathing, I've never really paid any attention to who does what in the lead up to a wedding. Sure, you all stand up there for the ceremony and then during the reception a few people make a speech, but what else is there to do? I've never been privy to the pre-wedding stuff as I've not ever been a Groomsmen and, I haven't been married before (THANK GOD!) so my experience is essentially only about as long as the combined amounts of minutes spent at the maybe 6 or 7 weddings I've ever been too.

The reception minutes don't count as I (along with the table I'm usually on) am quite certainly six sheets to the wind and not paying attention anymore by the time anyone in the wedding party does anything.........  Free booze....what can you do?

Anyway, I know we need suits. That much is clear. Or at least suity type apparel..............  Hopefully we can get this part sorted without too much further trouble.

Then there is the Stag or Bucks party.......  a topic for later discussion.

I also have no idea of what role my Groomsmen (surely there is a better term - Dudesmen?  The Others Guys?) play in all this malarky. There doesn't seem like there is much else for the lads to do.  Even if there was something for them to do, for some reason I'd feel bad asking them to do it.  Don't ask me why, I just would.  I'm not used to asking people to do stuff for me that I can do myself.......  I've been told it's about involving your close mates and having that male bonding thing etc etc, but I've never been big on it. 

I guess I might have to learn to accept it.

Beck and I are all over the organisation, the invites, the food, the all important booze, tables and chairs etc, so it really just leaves the setting up and pulling down of everything which we will have (hopefully) many hands on the Friday night/ Saturday morning to help do.

Which leaves me kinda still wondering if I'm missing something.............

So I started looking at pics on the web of Groomsmen and their collective looks to see what I like, and I've discovered that it's really hard to photograph and dress grooms without making them look  like complete meat-heads, flaming fruits, emo-tards or left-field indie I-removed-my-testes-long-ago-to-get-chicks-and-I'm really-sensitive types.  The first two could easily cross-over into each other (There is such a thing as too much man-love in wedding pics). Then there is just the plain badly dressed!

I think I might lay out some rules for us Groom-types for the wedding pics...........

No sunglasses.  We are NOT nor will we ever be Jake & Elroy J. Blues

No Jumping.  You look like a rapist.

No Goatees.  Seriously, they look like you've been playing the rusty-trombone.....

No Guns.  Seriously?

No Steve Buscemeyes.................or Portrayals of Indian Deities for that matter!

No Album Covers...................It's not a Nickleback shoot.

No We're-so-wacky-and-non-conventional pics........

There are definitely a few I do like the feel of.  Most of those are of the journalistic type captured moments. The non-contrived and non-posed style.  It's the warmth of the bonds and friendships that I would most hope would shine through.  I remember from Ash & Nicola's wedding there was a pic taken of a few of us (Ash, Pete, Simon & I) and it's now one of my favourite photographs.  I can only hope we get this kind of feeling and honesty coming through in ours.

This pic is the kind of feel I hope we get.  It's still a little shit because it's semi-posed, but I guess you can never really escape that when photographing a wedding.......

I also like the one below.  It is posed, but there is a level of dudeness that is there without being over-the-top bromancing the stone.

Then, there are the ones that defy explanation.............

I actually think the last one is AWESOME..........but I don't think Beck will approve.

The Beginning Of The End Or The End Of The Beginning? - Part 2

Continuing on in my hunt, I've come across some other looks I might explore............ though I think I should share a few things first.

I currently have NO idea what Beck's dress or shoes etc will look like (rightly so) but I do know that the bridesmaids will be in black.............at this stage.  This is why I want to go for the Charcoal Suit/ Black Shirt look so that I don't look out of place in say an awesome powder-blue number straight out of '72 man.......

Whilst this suit is definitely 'Bad Ass', it by no means cuts the mustard for what we have planned, and I doubt it would suit my hulking figure.  And so I've turned to the one person who might just be able to help.........

Mr. Bond

Every Bond movie I've ever seen (except of course License to Kill) Mr Bond always has some damn fine looking suits.  The one above I like very much, and the current Mr Bond has a similar body shape to me (excusing his really weird clown feet) and we also have the same colouring, so I'm hoping what looks good on him may look good on me, and vice versa for the bad suits. 

Here he is in a really nice looking 3 piece...............I've added a beard so he looks a bit more like me.

Both suits he's sporting do appeal, particularly the later.  I think a black shirt and no tie could get me over the line............  but then, I have found some more inspiration elsewhere.

The weave and colour of the jacket this guy is wearing (and probably his prison tatts too) have given me even more food for thought.  It's possible to look well dressed whilst still looking like you are going to shank someone in the shower the minute they bend over to pick up the soap......................  This could be a good look for me!  

But probably not.  

I guess this picture really relates to how I feel whenever I do put on a suit.  I've never ever felt comfortable in them. I've always felt like I was off to a court appearance, or that I should be carrying a briefcase full of drugs.  I don't know why, they just do.  And I don't want to feel like that when I'm standing in-front of Beck.

It's getting harder. The more I look, the less sure I am of what I should wear.

Bastard.

My next step will be to bring my Best Man (Ash) into it and see what he thinks.  I'm pretty sure he'll tell me he doesn't give a shit what we wear as long as it's not something like this -->

Then again, I think Ash might like this look!

I think it's time I actually went to some suit tailors or hire places (soooooo not  keen on wearing other peoples jizzed-in, beer soaked, shiny shiny numbers) and see what they have.  I think there is serious potential for an awesome montage moment complete with Gallien & Ash giving me the thumbs up and thumbs down signs whenever I appear through the dressing room doors.  Hopefully I'll  get to top it off with a frozen-in-air jump up and fist-pump when the suit is selected.........

The Beginning Of The End Or The End Of The Beginning? - Part 1

Never in my lifetime did I ever think I'd be venting my frustration at not being able to find information on being a Groom. Come to think of it, never in my lifetime did I think I would be so happy to be getting married..... How things change huh?   

  

Anyway, so far everything I've found on the subject assumes;  

  

a) I'm REALLY into Tuxedo's from 1992

b) I have NO sense of  style and;

c) I'm happy to wear some piece of shit 'Insert Groom Here' suit that hangs off me like a bed sheet on an Holocaust survivor.  

There seems to be plenty of info for me if I fancy wearing a lovely beaded ten thousand dollar wedding gown that just does wonders for my bustline..............

So I have created this blog as a way of keeping track of the Groomy type things that I find (Good & Ugly) so I can make informed decisions about what the hell I'll be wearing (and my best man), and what's going on in the lead up to our wedding.  

Oh yeah, 'our' wedding..........  I'm lucky enough to be getting married by choice, free of shotguns or arm-twisting or any strange mental-type manipulation or subliminal messaging.  I'm getting married to someone who from all accounts, appears to be the 'Lady' version of me....AWESOME!  

Her names Beck, my names Ades, and THIS is the blog.  

To kick things off, I have been searching the internet for suit ideas that are more 'me', rather than then bulk standard cheesy suit that inevitably looks like shit, has baggy trousers that would put even the most die-hard Frankston-based wanna-be Hip-Hopper to shame and is finished off with shoes that look like they are straight out of an episode of the Two Ronnies.  

I have a basic idea of what I'm after...........or at least I thought I did.  A nice well tailored charcoal wool suit with tapered trousers, black shirt and possible vest. The shoes, tie and other accessories are yet to be discussed, though being an avid Chuck T wearer for the last 20 years, it's enitrely possible that I'll be wearing cons. That however is for another post.  

So a couple of suits I have found I think might fit the bill, but the more I look, the less decisive I am becoming.

This one looks about right, black shirt dark enough suit but still light enough to give some contrast,  (sans gloves);

Then there is this 3 piece tweed that caught my eye which has now opened me up to a different colour shirt;

Then there is the no-collar waayy to casual look;

I've got a feeling Beck won't go for the last type, and I don't want to look like I'm heading out to my speed boat to go chase bad-guys who are running drugs into Miami............   

Our wedding is going to be in the country and I don't really think being too suited up or not suited up enough to do my bride justice is an option.  I need some middle ground.  I need someone who gets what it is I 'm looking for.......